Summary:

Christians have the power to set the example of how relationships should be conducted. Husbands and wives should focus on the roles God has ordained them to operate in instead of trying to
change each other. When both people focus on their own roles, the
marriage will work as God intended it to work.

1. The apostle Peter was successfully married to a wife who traveled with him in his ministry. He advises wives to be in subjection to their husbands (1
   Peter 3:1-9).
   1. Subjection comes from the Greek word hupotasso.
      1. The first part of this word means “under” and the second part of the word means “to arrange or put something in order.” It is a military word that
         describes a soldier who is submitted to the authority over him.
      2. The apostle Paul also uses the word subjection to describe how children are to be submitted to their parents and are expected to act according to the order of authority that has been
         established in that household (1Timothy 3:4).
         1. Jesus was subject to His parents when He was a child (Luke 2:51).
         2. While Jesus was in the earth, He respectfully submitted to the authority that God had given His parents.
         3. Jesus’ submission to His parents set in place a pattern for children to follow.
      3. God has established the husband as the head of the household, and the wife in subjection to her husband’s authority.
         
         
2. Wife should do all she can do to support her husband.
   1. One of a husband’s greatest needs is to have a wife with a supportive attitude.
   2. A woman’s supportive attitude causes her husband to want to run to her because she fulfills her role as his best friend and partner.
   3. The New Testament doesn’t directly command the wife to love her husband, but it does command her to be in subjection to her husband.
      1. When a wife is supportive, it communicates to her husband that she loves him.
      2. Women speak a man’s language of love by being supportive, building him up and not tearing him down.
      3. When a husband doesn’t sense that he has a supportive wife, he doesn’t feel loved.
      4. Wives should not try to assume authority over their husbands.
         1. A wife shouldn’t be bossy, preachy, a complainer or a nag. This only drives a man farther away. A wife shouldn’t be her husband’s corrector.
      5. Submission is more than an outward action; it is a condition of the heart.
         1. A woman can act submissive but have a rebellious attitude inside.
         2. A woman can respond to her husband’s authority in two ways:
            1. She can follow his leadership angrily and resentfully.
            2. She can submit voluntarily with a joyful, submissive attitude.
      6. The unsaved husband or the Christian husband who is not obeying the Word, or refuses to be persuaded in certain areas can be won to the Lord by
         observing the godly lifestyle of his wife.
         1. A wife’s godly life is a tool of evangelism.
         2. There is no message more powerful than a godly lifestyle.
         3. Husbands are constantly watching their wives’ behavior.
            1. Wives should make sure that their husbands see them living godly lives.
   4. Wives should spend more time developing their spiritual conditions rather than focusing on their outward appearances.
      1. There is nothing wrong with a woman looking good for her husband and taking care of herself, but there must be balance.
      2. The spirit, or hidden man, is of great price in the eyes of God.
      3. Women shouldn’t invest all their time in looking good while failing to work on their hearts.
      4. God values as precious a woman who has a meek and quiet spirit.
         1. A meek woman is not one who is weak and timid.
         2. Meekness is the attitude of a person who is friendly, warm, forbearing, patient, kind and gentle. It is the opposite of being angry, temperamental and
            given to bursts of anger.
         3. The meek person chooses to be in control of his or her emotions, forgiving and gentle; skilled at controlling his or her temper.
         4. A person who is quiet is one who knows how to calm herself and maintain a state of peace and tranquility; refrains from angry responses and contributes to making
            peace rather than strife. This is not referring to a woman who is timid,
            shy, weak or a doormat.
         5. A woman who achieves this level of maturity is of great value.
            1. When something is of great value, it has great worth, is dear to you and will cost you something.
   5. Wives should ask themselves these questions:
      1. Am I a contributor to peace in my home?
      2. Am I a steady force in difficult situations?
      3. Have I really learned to control my emotions?
      4. Am I a peacemaker?
      5. Am I making matters worse, or am I giving in to strife by allowing my emotions to control me?
      6. Do I say things that I later regret?
      7. Do I fly into a rage when I don’t get my way?
      8. Do I give place to hysterical fears and anxieties?
      9. Am I a source of stability and peace to my husband?
         
         
3. Husbands are to also live considerately and intelligently with their wives in order to have a good marriage relationship.
   1. As the head of the house, the husband must be intelligent about how he leads his family.
   2. Priority equals value.
      1. Your priorities determine what is valuable to you.
      2. Prioritize your family so they don’t feel devalued.
   3. The apostle Peter urges husbands to share their lives with their wives through communication.
      1. Communication is a skill that must be developed.
      2. This is often a challenge because most men don’t want to take time to share what is going on with them with their wives.
      3. It is important that husbands gain an understanding of what they have to do to love their wives..
         1. A husband should learn what blesses and distresses his wife.
         2. Seek to obtain this knowledge through books, tapes and seminars.
         3. A husband should read some of the books his wife reads so he can understand what she understands, apply what he learns and then be able
            to “dwell according to knowledge.”
         4. A husband should spend quality time with his wife to demonstrate that she is the most important person in his life.
            1. The husband who spends more time with his male friends than he does with his wife is communicating to her that his friends are more important
               than she is.
            2. There is nothing wrong with spending time with your friends, but there must be balance.
            3. A husband doesn’t want to send his wife the message that his friends are more important than she is.
            4. When a wife feels secure in her relationship with her husband, she will gladly follow whatever it is that he is leading her to do.
            5. Husbands should schedule time to spend with their wives.

      Scripture References:

      • 1 Peter 3:1-9
      • 1Corinthians 9:5
      • 1Timothy 3:4
      • Luke 2:51